Uncertainty

Today is the last day I spend before I head back to work. I think I still have a job. To be honest I’m not quite sure. Tomorrow we will see if it will just be another day sorting boxes onto pallets, pulling freight across the floor to their respective departments, and stocking the shelves of the grocery aisles with headphones to drown out the customers. It could be a day of freedom. Of freedom for as long as I let it last. It’s not like I have a bank vault full of a lifetime of money down at the bank a few blocks from home. Wouldn’t that be nice.

Not much was done today but the apartment is a little cleaner. Took some boxes to the Salvation Army filled with random books and clothes. Even our coffee maker.¬†We never use it anymore since my sister gave me a french press for Christmas. Takes more time but it’s nicer having an electric kettle on the counter. Heats water faster. Takes up a little less space. It’s funny giving away things and seeing the same items on the shelf with a price already written on them. Those Salvation Army guys work fast.

After that we went over to my parents. It was the first time since getting the flu from them a little over a week ago. Thankfully they are mostly over it as am I. I think it lasted a bit longer for them. I’m glad we are all in mostly good health for now. After half a day of eating some of their food, playing some Wii fit, and watching a little Netflix with them we headed home. And now here I am.

Work is what will be on my mind tonight. Hopefully I will have my job still when I walk in tomorrow. At the same time I feel like it won’t be so bad if I don’t. I spent a year without a job before getting this one. A part of the reason is I felt afraid of exploring something new. After working at this job I felt excited to learn new things and meet new people. Now though, after being there for around 7 months, that excitement has worn thin. And with Teisha not working with me anymore it just isn’t as much fun. The irony is that I didn’t want my girlfriend to work with me. I felt like it would maybe be awkward in ways. But now that it’s happened and she’s not there with me anymore… it just doesn’t feel the same. There is no motivation to keep doing a better job. Barely any to keep showing up. So I think a change would be good. Even though change is scary. It’s necessary to keep life fresh and interesting at least.